The Real Meaning of Hate

The Real Meaning of Hate

Today is June 26, 2015. The news is all abuzz about a SCOTUS decision. Many of my friends (that are verbalizing an opinion) are sad. Others (of my friends, and the rest of the world) are elated.

I'm a very emotional person. When I was younger, I threw fits, not knowing what to do with the feelings. As an adult, it's not easy to control the responses, but that's what it means to be an adult. Today I really wanted to break something. But I didn't.

I don't have many friends who are homosexual, but I really care about those who are. They probably don't know that I care. They probably don't know that their lifestyle causes me pain. I do not hate them.

Anger

Angry? Yes. Hell yes. I felt like throwing something.
Hate? Sure, of the actions, which *do* have an impact on me. (Though they deny it.) But not of the individuals. I've made wrong choices too. I'm a sinner too. I don't hate them.

I'm a very unstructured person, but I have come to value structure. I used to say, of programming, that it should be "like breathing": The best coding decisions should be intuitively obvious. The best programs should arise from the software development culture. I butted heads with a Project Management person who became a mentor. Eventually I realized that not all right decisions are obvious, not all right choices are intuitive, and my PM friend simply wanted to document "the right way". Then later generations of programmers could come along and get it right ... or not, as they chose to read ... or not.

Culture

Culture.
We thrive on it.
It has structure.
We don't always like the constraints.

It's the magical 21st Century. Where are the flying cars? We were supposed to have flying cars! Well ... at least we have self-driving cars.

It's the "progressive" 21st Century. You can do whatever you want. Translation: You can do whatever you feel like doing. And damn those who tell you not to.

It's a lie.
Freedom does not mean you can do whatever you feel like. We're so proud of freedom in the US of A but we've forgotten what it means. We've forgotten what it cost. We've abandoned the culture that spawned it, so over time more and more bits are lost. We lost a lot of freedom today because we discarded a "constraint".

Marriage

Why would two men (or two women) want to marry?
They're erotically attracted and want to indulge? They already had that.
They want a monogamous relationship? They already had that.
They want a shared household? They already had that.

I found out one thing they want: health benefits. Learned this from a friend whose cousin is a (married) lesbian. The condition of health coverage in this country is miserable. Oh ... wait ... SCOTUS upheld another ACA pillar this week, so that's all good now. But seriously (backing down from the sarcasm) discussing insurance is beyond a simple blog post.

What do they want?
Maybe they want to force the baker to bake them a wedding cake.

Hate

I don't hate them. I hate that they hijacked the word "gay".

Wish I had more gay friends.
But wait, I also wish I had more alcoholic friends, more crippled friends, more impoverished friends. I wish I had more friends, gay or straight. But I don't wish for my friends to stay in harmful conditions.

Everything we do has impact on others. Everything.
Lifestyle choices of friends, family, neighbors have an effect. That was true yesterday and it will be true tomorrow. Doesn't mean I'm banging down anyone's door to make sure they behave. But things were less corrosive when alternative lifestyles weren't thrown in my face.

I just wish my friends who are homosexual didn't hate me so much.

-- R; <><

He is Risen

He is Risen

He is Risen. He is Risen Indeed.

And *this* year, 2015, Easter Sunday falls immediately after Passover. Cool! Love it when that happens.
And Passover consistently falls on the 15th of the month Nisan on the *Hebrew* calendar.

And that's the point: Passover, the curse passing over the redeemed just like the Tenth Plague passed over the Israelites. We are freed from bondage to sin as the Israelites were freed from bondage in Egypt.

Some say that Resurrection Day should always be recognized by the Hebrew calendar rather than by the Greek and Roman calculations more common in Western countries. I agree, if only so that the reality of the Resurrection not be misunderstood.

In my church, we perform water baptism as a public profession of faith. (We're talking immersion, dunking.) To reiterate the meaning, the pastor recites, "Buried with Christ in baptism." [when the dunkee goes down] "Raised with Christ to walk in newness of life." [when they come up]

He is Risen! Amen!

-- R; <><

Face the Music

Face the Music

Well, actually, just don't skip the music. 

I arrived to church late (not for the first time). No big deal, I thought; I'll just miss the singing, some/most/all. 

This time I had worship foremost in mind. It dawned on me that I was missing the main part of the service. By de-emphasizing the singing I was losing a major part of what I came for that day.

Thankfully, we then sang "Blessed Be The Tie That Binds" after communion, and then "Come and Behold Him" after that. 

I our culture, we've reduced the gathering of Believers to a brief concert combined with a motivational message and some public announcements. That's not how it's supposed to go.

To be sure, the original meeting involved music and message, but also real fellowship and corporate worship. But it wasn't passive. It was involved and connected. This is what we need.

Face it: that music is important. Don't skip it. Engage.

-- R; <><

Attitude is Everything ... NOT

Attitude is Everything ... NOT

I grew up hearing the proverb "attitude is everything". Set your mind toward something and you can make it happen. Keep a cooperative posture and others will be more amenable to you. Even today, I really believe this.

But I got kind of slammed, starting roughly a decade ago. It's not enough to be a nice guy. You gotta make things happen. You can't simply set your mind toward your goal, you have to take steps. You can't simply be agreeable, you have to help with the heavy lifting.

What's wrong with my original thinking? I fell into a habit of feeling bad over failure and expecting that to let me off the hook. To my shock, I encountered greater numbers of people who really don't care how remorseful you are that you let them down: the fact remains ... and their pain is retained. I had an assumption that when turning your focus toward the objective, things would follow automatically, and that's not how it happens. (That's part of it, just not the whole story.)

Be Warmed and Be Filled

God warned us about the emptiness of nice words. In James, it's written, "If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that"?.(ch 2 vv 15, 16) Might as well say, "Don't worry. Be happy!". 

Things don't happen automatically. This is obvious to some readers, and maybe you say "well, duh!!". (There's benefit in how "we" think, so don't write us off. Your turn will come.) People with my personality type don't consistently recognize: steps must be taken. (And some things do happen with little to no effort, but that's for another day and a different journal entry.) 

Reality Bites

To all of this, add the fact of storms and catastrophes. Stuff happens. Wishers like me (and workers like you) get jolted when the rains come down and the floods come up. Even when you're actively taking those steps, it could be three forward and two backward ... or worse. But keep moving. 

Another gem from James: "Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works." (latter half of 2:18) So keep working, trust God, and by all means pray. But don't flounder behind a facade of friendly phrases. Do something! 

Make it So

There are no guarantees. Whether you're the doer or the dreamer, the result could be crap. And if you're like me, part of the pain is that you could get chewed out ... even if you had the right attitude. 

-- R; <><

Nice Neighbors

Nice Neighbors


Jason and Sarah moved a couple months ago already. I paid my respects to the new residents, honestly glad to meet them, though sad to see the original occupants go. It was their first house. All three of their kids were born there. (I'd say in short order since it's only been 5 or 6 years.)

And now, there's a "for sale" sign in Brian's yard. He may be gone already. Marilyn said I should go speak with him earlier in the day, but for some reason I put it off. Later went over, rang the doorbell, ... nuthin. I hate it when that happens.

Can't Go Back

I'm not terribly nice after moving away. I don't keep connected with neighbors all that well. But what level of contact is "normal"? How many prior residences can anyone keep up with?

When we left the rental, I did not look back. Marilyn and the kids visited that street at least once. I was never interested. There was one neighbor, next door to us there, who was always sincerely friendly and I think she kept in touch with Marilyn to some extent.

Occasionally Reconnect

Chris and I were CB radio buddies when I was in high school. A lot happened to Chris, mostly after I went off to college. Radio remained a strong interest and Chris eventually upgraded to become a licensed ham/amateur. He remembered that I was similarly licensed and wanted to let me know, compare notes, and generally get back in touch. What an honor that someone bothered to look me up!

They Mean A Lot


Scripture gives us balancing points: this world is not our home, and love one another. One passage reminds us that our residence is temporary (even if one never relocated). The other passage says to relate to those around us (even if we move a lot). I think about Lionel and Nancy who hopped from comfy California to tempestuous Tejas. I pray for them because I understand the shock of uprooting.

Dunno if we'll ever see Jason or Sarah again. It was kind of them to send cookies around the whole street at Christmas time. For our part, we brought a meal once. Felt good to help out. Jason was my go-to guy for yard care tips.

Brian was a blessing too. When I left the big company for a small one and needed independent health coverage, he clued me in on what to do. (He's been a consultant off and on for a long time.)

And that's the point. These people were in our lives for a time, now they've moved on, and we will eventually too.
God weaves a tapestry with our lives.

-- R; <><

MISSING: certain old friends

MISSING: certain old friends

I was checking up on Facebook. (Always a dangerous thing. My sister mentioned just this past week what a terrible time sink it can be.) Happened to notice the graduation of the son of a friend. This friend is someone I haven't seen in a while ... a long while. Time flies. Kids grow!

Trying not to sink too much time, I did happen to notice a few links. Links lead to links ... I came across an older friend, someone I haven't seen in a longer while.

Life takes you to various places and you can lose touch with friends. It's natural to miss your old friends, especially those who you were particularly close to. I miss these old friends. But with respect to the latter, it's more than just miss.

Somewhere in there we seem to have had a falling out. I think I did something to tick him off, but I'm not sure what. I suspect it may have had to do with a certain sideline business he was into (something I didn't really respect, but common and culturally accepted; he did nothing wrong).

Careful What You Say

I said something. It probably wasn't all that harsh, but it surely wasn't supportive (of my friend). Maybe that was it - it's the only thing that makes sense. (A sizable chunk of my circle at the time was involved in this business.) All I know for sure is that he and I lost touch. We lost touch in a way that my feeble attempts to reconnect were never reciprocated.

Part of my desire to reconnect is to apologize if that is needed. If I did offend this guy, I'd like to know. But as it stands, I'm in the dark.

Maybe I've misread the situation. Maybe someday I'll know.

-- R; <><

Our Father, Please Help

Our Father, Please Help

It's vital for Christians to spend time with God. In my circles, we call it "quiet time".

Any relationship needs one-to-one time. The Lord has promised that He would never leave us. But do we leave Him? Sometimes we do. (Even if not by way of some sin.)

For me, it's a struggle to make that time. Probably partly my natural disorganized psyche. Partly surely the crunch of circumstances.

I thank God for "the Lord's Prayer". Some days, that's all I can manage. On most days, that's how I start anyway: consciously repeating the words from Matthew 6 and Luke 11. And listen.

Not fond of ritual, I avoided repetition in my own life for many years. But now, for the sake of consistency, I do it, almost daily. I need it. If I can do more, cover a list of things to talk with Him about, spend a little time reading His Word, so much the better. But I gotta have something. I don't need a liturgy, I just need Him.

-- R; <><