This is not my Home

This is not my Home


Cabin fever set in weeks ago. My job is 100% remote so my office is right here. I don't get out enough and winter makes it worse.

When we first moved to Central Ohio, it was for a job. The kids were in high school. There was a lot to do, schedule, structure. But then the kids graduated. I also left that job for one where I worked from home some days. And then I left that job for one where I'm at the home office every day.

We made good friends in Ohio, but our current lifestyle leads us to lose touch. I realized a few days ago that I have unconsciously neglected my friends. I keep blaming my busyness on the job, and I AM busy due to work. But I really miss our friends.

It's not just friends that I miss but family too. My sister and her husband live about 5 hours away. Most of the times we have visited, we stayed at a hotel. It just gives us more space. But it's costly. My parents moved to that town. We saw them a few times. Then Mom died. Then Dad remarried. He can't travel as much as he used to, and his new wife can't travel much at all. My parents and my in-laws visited here several times over our tenure here, but that doesn't happen anymore.

This World is not my Home

So I'm feeling like a man without a country. The place is nice. The people are nice. But we've lost touch ... just sitting right here. What happened?

A couple days ago, I remembered my own high school time. I can remember Tim Savage playing guitar and leading us in worship. He had a signature way of singing, "This World is not my Home". I can hear him ...

... And I can't feel at home in this world anymooowwwaaahhhrrr. (anymore)

I love the Buckeyes. I also love Texas and still consider myself a Texan. I'm proud to be an American. Neither Ohio nor Texas nor even the U S of A are ultimately "home". 

Bloom where you're Planted

Suddenly my joy is back! Jeremiah 29:7 comes to mind. Ecclesiastes too. I find myself thanking God for every ray of sunshine.

The work is exciting. God will provide the time to see friends and family. He will provide the airline tickets to get there. The work is hard, but God will provide wisdom and strength to get it done.

Last week (now nine days ago) we visited the Short North campus of Rock City church. It was great! The main pastor was linked across multiple campuses (the Short North pastor was out). His sermon reminded me to value friends. THIS week (now two days ago) we visited McLean Presbyterian. That pastor too preached about friendship, specifically David and Jonathan.


I saw one of the students walking home. Turned out to be Matt across the street. He was cutting across our yard, as they do. I'm happy they cut through. Oddly makes me feel like we're somehow helping out.


-- R; <><

Small Things

Small Things


The meeting went well.
Actually, there were several meetings and they all went just fine, but one in particular had me worried, and it went great! Praise God!


Most of my meetings are with customers. This worrisome meeting followed a meeting last week that hadn't gone so well. Tech talk had regressed into compaining. No one was happy. The root cause was probably just lack of communication, two sides of the conversation having different understanding of the scope and purpose.


For the follow-up yesterday, I was going to be on-point. Somehow I sensed it was an opportunity. Marilyn and I prayed for the Lord to open doors, give me words and wisdom, and soften hearts. The lead executive from the customer side drove the meeting and did really well. Lots of gotta-do-next but noone was unhappy. Praise God!


I carry the emotion of my own load and that of others. I am so incredibly blessed. There's really nothing to complain about, nothing to worry over, and certainly nothing to fear. (If God is for us, who can be against us?) Yet every day I find the feelings. There's much to do and much still waiting on one thing or another. While I'm largely content, I sometimes get stuck behind circumstances. And there are others who are really discouraged; I feel their pain.


We're supposed to live by faith and not by feelings. Just now, while praying, God reminded me of His victories, what he has done in my life. So I choose to hold onto the small things which remind me of God's hand in all of this. I will focus on fact.


God is good.


-- R; <><

Natural Vitamin D

Natural Vitamin D


The region where we live is often cloudy. Lack of direct, unclouded sunshine has an effect on people. I worked with a man who had come here from Texas. I too had at that time recently moved from Texas. There is more unobstructed sunlight in Texas than here. (No offense to my dear friends who are native to this area.) My coworker suffered from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Pronounce that acronym; you get the idea. It's a real thing. It's treatable.

In our household, we do herbs, teas, essential oils, and supplements. Not a replacement for nutrition by food, but they all seem to help. (Got a diffuser for Christmas. Thanks honey.)

Today ... oh so cold. High of only 15 Farenheit. (That's minus ten for my friends across the pond.) But sunny. Thank God for the sun. (Thank God for the Son too, we'll discuss later.) Just before its daily approach of the Western horizon, the orb cast a glorious glare through our wonderful den windows onto the kitchen wall. (You know, high ceiling, windows above your main windows, great views.) I just stood there for a few minutes letting the rays hit my face. (Layered up for to shortlyl take the dog walking, that was the only exposed skin available.)

I don't know how much better natural vitamin D impacts us than supplements. I have been told "yeah, it's better". There's certainly the termal difference, meaning the warmth feels nice. (Especially as a narcotic against the seasonal chill.) Anyway, thanks Lord God for the solar supply. Needed that. It made an improvement on my own disorder of this season.

-- R; <><

Giving Thanks in America

Giving Thanks in America

Our daughter recently took a job (something to be thankful for) in a different town, so now she has her own place away from "the nest". Good. That means holidays like Thanksgiving are all that much more special. She came home for Thanksgiving. We've had a great visit.

It's a uniquely American holiday. There are other festivities which go by the same name. My knowledge is limited; I can't speak about them. I hope those celebrations are as meaningful as ours in the US. Historically, those we call the Pilgrims arrived on these shores, and had a really difficult time at first. After enduring hardship and heartbreak, they made it to a second year. With help from the locals, they began to prosper.

It's a fundamentally Christian holiday. These people gave credit to the Creator for all of it: food, family, and friends. They planned and prepared a meal to formally thank God for their blessings, and invited their new friends to join the party. Enshrinement of Thanksgiving by US federal and state government is obligated to be "non-sectarian", but the roots remain.

They were Puritans and their legacy became a major pillar in what would become the United States.

Give Thanks to God

Not to belabor the point about faith, if you're not a Beliiever, to whom are you giving thanks? Go ahead and have fun with family, make it a nice turkey day, but think about this.The natives were not (at least originally) Christian. Those early thanks-givers didn't beat their new neighbors over the head with the Bible. They simply invited everyone to come along. And so it is with us.

I'm not talking about a random diety of choice. What would be the point? See James chapter 1 verses 17 and 18.

I thank God for salvation, my wife, children, parents, in-laws, extended family. I also thank him for my job, which is truly amazing. (I should elaborate on God's hand in the job. That would make another blog post.) I thank God that I live in the US of A, where I can thank God without someone lopping off my head.

The day after Thanksgiving, we put up the outdoor nativity scene.
I thank Jesus for taking on flesh, living among us, and enduring the Cross.

-- R; <><

God's Perspective

God's Perspective


I woke up early. Couldn't sleep, so I got up. As I stepped out of the bedroom I saw a neighbor's car drive past outside. It was about 6:30, so this was nothing unusual.


Something happened as a result of my carelessness which affected a number of people, one friend in particular. There is also stuff at work and stuff with family. I found myself anxious about those and other things. As I stepped onto the landing, I wondered why I was up so early, then realized that things can be seen at this hour which one doesn't usually see. God reminded me that I need to see things from HIS perspective, which I don't usually see.


It struck me that the Lord is patiently nudging His children to see things from His perspective, to look at things as He does, to see others as He sees them.


-- R; <><



I Sam 16:7, John 4:35 and 36, I Cor 2:9

Conservative != Christian

Conservative != Christian

I was talking with a friend about some "liberal" ideals he holds. The man grew up as a Christian. How did he come to such a position? But I realized, as I have for a long time, that "conservative" is not what we as Christians are called to be.

More important than your political view is your life in view of Christ. Life is precious. Yes, the life of the unborn is precious, and you do well as a Christian to value that, to defend that. And yes, "pro-life" is the conservative stance, but the politics don't matter as much as the people. Jesus died for the "pro-choice" employee at the abortion clinic no less than He died for you.

Straight != Hate

Several months ago, I learned about the child of a friend making a dramatic lifestyle change. The kid was raised as a Believer but wants to change from one gender to the other. I cannot imagine how the parents feel. It hurts. (But why does it hurt? I'm not affected. Or am I?) I haven't seen these people for years and live hundreds of miles away, so what difference should it make? But everything we do has an impact on other people. I feel angst over this.

Anger is a struggle. It's easier to rage against the imorality, even shut such a person out of your life. But James says that the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. This is an impossible position. How can you love the sinner unless you accept their sin? (Matt 19:24-26)

Salvation vs Celebrity

I heard about a famous actress who came to faith in Christ. Wow! Great! For anyone to get saved is cause for celebration. (Luke 15:8-10) People on the screen or on stage or in the news become significant to us. It's weird, but real. And this woman's story is intriguing. She was known to be in-your-face offensive to many while a hero to others. We presumed she'd change her public posture, take on only "family friendly" roles, perhaps denounce previous misdeeds. Not necessarily.

I hope this lady is surrounded by Believers who continue to accept her as God does, in spite of her past, forgiving her failings, and not laying legalistic burdens on her. She doesn't have to prove anything to us. Our job is to know Christ, to love Him, obey Him, follow Him, not dictate the direction of His other children.

Monuments

There has been a lot of public protest both for and against the removal of confederate symbols throughout the US. (It's September of 2017 as I write this.) I have not resolved the matter, don't know quite what to say or endorse. There was a terrible war and a lot of twisted argument more than 100 years ago. In the end, the right side won. But hearts are not changed by military might.

The "left" and "right" are a jumble. Monuments were set-up to honor men who's most prominent actions offend me. Yet our judgement escalates to Numemberg status which offends me even more. How should I respond? Everything we do has an impact on other people, and I know that these monuments and memories have caused pain for people I will never meet. 

Dear God, please change my heart. Let me be known as a Christian whether I'm labeled conservative or liberal. 

-- R; <><

Dallas Sunset

Dallas [ish] Sunset

 

I turned the blinds in the bedroom for more light. Was looking for something after a long day. Sunset flooded in. 

 

The further I get from my formative years the more I treasure them. This sunset reminds me of Dallas. These days Dallas is for me where IBM runs a computer we use, where my brother-in-law and his wife live, where several friends are. But it's no longer home. 

 

Dallas sunsets when I was in high school were warm. Climaticly, sure, but I mean figuratively. They heralded closure for the day without diminishing hope for tomorrow. 

 

I opened the blinds even further to let this particular sunset bathe the far wall. it felt good to take advantage of this end-of-day show God has provided, to drink in every ray of it. 

 

On the dresser, we have pictures of the kids when they were very young. The light shown on a photo of my son. My daughter's picture is there too. 

 

And then it angles down (or up, depending on your stance) and the sun drops below the horizon, looping around for another day. It's only 7:30! I was supposed to cut the grass. Shucks. 

 

click FF on the remote, time goes by

 

That was a week ago already. I left this in "Drafts". (Gotta quit doing that!) 

 

Certain recent news from Dallas reminds me to take advantage of these cycles. Each sunet in this life is followed by a sunrise, and that means a do-over. If the day was good, take note and rejoice. If it wasn't so good, just start over. God has given you an allotment of these do-overs. Use them well. 

 

I finally got the grass cut. 

 

-- R; <><

one small step for a man

one small step for a man

Sometimes one small misstep can cascade into profound angst. Sometimes the day starts out great and then you literally wish you could turn back time and change one little thing.

By the way, Neil Armstrong famously said "for a man", but there was static on the transmission so we don’t remember it that way. Other than that, a lot of things went right on that day, including some software most people know nothing about. It's the small things that go right that get so little notice.

But for me, God why?
Why do these missteps continue to get center stage?
Dear Lord, please help. We're on this foreign soil on a mission. Please bring us home soon.

-- R: <><

Extemporaneous Eulogy

Extemporaneous Eulogy

I started this journal entry October 18 while driving back from the funeral. Had to put it aside, and then got swamped. (mostly work stuff)

We said goodbye to Mom that Saturday (the 17th). It was expected, but sudden. Mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's maybe four years ago. The illness proceeded slowly, but then seemed to speed up this past April or May. At the end, her heart gave out. That's what made it sudden.

Hospice advised Dad to solicit prepared comments from friends and family, and he did. There were a dozen brief letters and all were read with tears, some by those who wrote them. (Those who were able to attend.) My sister and I were last up. I didn't write my comments word-for-word, but did have notes. So I called it an "extemporaneous eulogy". 

From my notes and from memory:

I woke up that morning thinking about things parents give their children which the children cannot repay. On balance, there are things children give their parents which the parents cannot repay.

I in working up what I would say, the following points came to mind:
  + closure
  + resurrection
  + reward
  + legacy

closure

She's done. She can now not fail.
Hebrews ch 11 has the Faith Hall of Fame. Then in 12:1 it admonishes us to, "run with endurance the race that is set before us".

Mom loved the Lord more than anyone I know. And she loved us without reservation. I spoke with her briefly Tuesday night just before she passed. She was having a rough evening and all she could muster was "love ya, love ya, love ya". I replied with the same "love ya, love ya, love ya".
Those were our last words in this life.

resurrection

I Thesalonians 4:16 says, "the dead in Christ shall rise first".
At the service, I told Dad, there before the group, "When the trumpet sounds, if you're still here, she'll get to go first.".

reward

Someone had said Mom "made her world small". I'd say it was more that she chose her focus. She put her energy into knowing the Lord plain and simple.

Consider Mary and Martha, sisters of Lazarus. All three were close friends of Jesus. At one time, there was a gathering at their house; Martha was handling preparations but Mary was just sitting there listening to Jesus. She was just hangin out. Martha complained,"Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.". But Jesus said, "Martha, Martha,you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:42)

So ... Mom chose the better part, hangin out with Jesus, and it won't be taken from her.
Well done.

legacy

The best we do in life is leave a legacy.

I spoke with Barbara Hantel (cousin) the night before the funeral. Mom's passing hit Barbara particularly hard. She told me, "You know, she wasn't always a goodie two-shoes.", and then shared a glimpse from their childhood. Barbara would be at Helene's house and Helene would say, "Come on, let's go see Grammy.", and then
proceed to work the latch using a broom handle.
Mischief like that makes a treasured memory.

Her impact on my own life is profound and eternal. She and Dad came to Christ in their 30s. Naturally, they wanted my sister and me to have the same saving faith. One thing to that end was a weekly Bible club held at the home of Larry and Carol Graham. Being the pre-teen with attitude that I was, I didn't want to go. One Friday I was giving Mom a hard time about it.

"You don't have to accept Jesus Christ,

but you will understand. Now get in the car!"

I went, heard, believed, and was saved and changed. I can't in any way pay that back nor even return the favor. I can, however, pay it forward by getting the Gospel to my friends and family, even when they don't want to hear it. In other words "not shrink from declaring". (Acts 20:20)

Trying to finish this, the emotions return.
As I type, it's just past midnight, so it's already December 1st.
Where does time go?

looking back

It's interesting to see God's hand in all this.

My boss offered to take me from contract to permanent. That went into effect the week before Mom's passing. That meant that I was not dinged for the time off.

The kids had no classes on Thursday or Friday the week of the funeral, the exact two days we needed.

I had gone to Chicago to train new recruits at a business partner and stopped overnight in South Bend. Saw Mom. (And Dad, of course.) She was "with it" that day and knew me and introduced me, "This is our son.".

We had some good time with Mom and Dad this past summer. At first I was angry (at the disease). She was usually all there, but more frequently disconnecting (always brief). But I resolved to treasure what time we had.

The four of us went to South Bend, partly to help prep the house for sale. Marilyn stayed an extra 10 days and helped with arranging care. Then she drove them to Grove City while Scott and Diane moved furniture into the new apartment.

Aunt Carolyn (sister) visited them in September. I got to see her and also spend the night at Mom's and Dad's apartment.

There were countless other things, most I don't even know. We are blessed.

Then came October. We gathered again in South Bend. At the end of the day, I hugged Dad. He said, "Today was a good day."

We are blessed: sad, but thankful.

Other than the funeral, I did not yet publicly say goodbye. So that's the purpose of this post. Mom consistently ended a visit with, "Here, there, or in the air!". Since she's done with the "here" venue, I'll quote what I heard from a 1970s Christian comedy troupe, "See ya there, or in the air!". 

-- R; <><

The Real Meaning of Hate

The Real Meaning of Hate

Today is June 26, 2015. The news is all abuzz about a SCOTUS decision. Many of my friends (that are verbalizing an opinion) are sad. Others (of my friends, and the rest of the world) are elated.

I'm a very emotional person. When I was younger, I threw fits, not knowing what to do with the feelings. As an adult, it's not easy to control the responses, but that's what it means to be an adult. Today I really wanted to break something. But I didn't.

I don't have many friends who are homosexual, but I really care about those who are. They probably don't know that I care. They probably don't know that their lifestyle causes me pain. I do not hate them.

Anger

Angry? Yes. Hell yes. I felt like throwing something.
Hate? Sure, of the actions, which *do* have an impact on me. (Though they deny it.) But not of the individuals. I've made wrong choices too. I'm a sinner too. I don't hate them.

I'm a very unstructured person, but I have come to value structure. I used to say, of programming, that it should be "like breathing": The best coding decisions should be intuitively obvious. The best programs should arise from the software development culture. I butted heads with a Project Management person who became a mentor. Eventually I realized that not all right decisions are obvious, not all right choices are intuitive, and my PM friend simply wanted to document "the right way". Then later generations of programmers could come along and get it right ... or not, as they chose to read ... or not.

Culture

Culture.
We thrive on it.
It has structure.
We don't always like the constraints.

It's the magical 21st Century. Where are the flying cars? We were supposed to have flying cars! Well ... at least we have self-driving cars.

It's the "progressive" 21st Century. You can do whatever you want. Translation: You can do whatever you feel like doing. And damn those who tell you not to.

It's a lie.
Freedom does not mean you can do whatever you feel like. We're so proud of freedom in the US of A but we've forgotten what it means. We've forgotten what it cost. We've abandoned the culture that spawned it, so over time more and more bits are lost. We lost a lot of freedom today because we discarded a "constraint".

Marriage

Why would two men (or two women) want to marry?
They're erotically attracted and want to indulge? They already had that.
They want a monogamous relationship? They already had that.
They want a shared household? They already had that.

I found out one thing they want: health benefits. Learned this from a friend whose cousin is a (married) lesbian. The condition of health coverage in this country is miserable. Oh ... wait ... SCOTUS upheld another ACA pillar this week, so that's all good now. But seriously (backing down from the sarcasm) discussing insurance is beyond a simple blog post.

What do they want?
Maybe they want to force the baker to bake them a wedding cake.

Hate

I don't hate them. I hate that they hijacked the word "gay".

Wish I had more gay friends.
But wait, I also wish I had more alcoholic friends, more crippled friends, more impoverished friends. I wish I had more friends, gay or straight. But I don't wish for my friends to stay in harmful conditions.

Everything we do has impact on others. Everything.
Lifestyle choices of friends, family, neighbors have an effect. That was true yesterday and it will be true tomorrow. Doesn't mean I'm banging down anyone's door to make sure they behave. But things were less corrosive when alternative lifestyles weren't thrown in my face.

I just wish my friends who are homosexual didn't hate me so much.

-- R; <><

He is Risen

He is Risen

He is Risen. He is Risen Indeed.

And *this* year, 2015, Easter Sunday falls immediately after Passover. Cool! Love it when that happens.
And Passover consistently falls on the 15th of the month Nisan on the *Hebrew* calendar.

And that's the point: Passover, the curse passing over the redeemed just like the Tenth Plague passed over the Israelites. We are freed from bondage to sin as the Israelites were freed from bondage in Egypt.

Some say that Resurrection Day should always be recognized by the Hebrew calendar rather than by the Greek and Roman calculations more common in Western countries. I agree, if only so that the reality of the Resurrection not be misunderstood.

In my church, we perform water baptism as a public profession of faith. (We're talking immersion, dunking.) To reiterate the meaning, the pastor recites, "Buried with Christ in baptism." [when the dunkee goes down] "Raised with Christ to walk in newness of life." [when they come up]

He is Risen! Amen!

-- R; <><

Face the Music

Face the Music

Well, actually, just don't skip the music. 

I arrived to church late (not for the first time). No big deal, I thought; I'll just miss the singing, some/most/all. 

This time I had worship foremost in mind. It dawned on me that I was missing the main part of the service. By de-emphasizing the singing I was losing a major part of what I came for that day.

Thankfully, we then sang "Blessed Be The Tie That Binds" after communion, and then "Come and Behold Him" after that. 

I our culture, we've reduced the gathering of Believers to a brief concert combined with a motivational message and some public announcements. That's not how it's supposed to go.

To be sure, the original meeting involved music and message, but also real fellowship and corporate worship. But it wasn't passive. It was involved and connected. This is what we need.

Face it: that music is important. Don't skip it. Engage.

-- R; <><

Attitude is Everything ... NOT

Attitude is Everything ... NOT

I grew up hearing the proverb "attitude is everything". Set your mind toward something and you can make it happen. Keep a cooperative posture and others will be more amenable to you. Even today, I really believe this.

But I got kind of slammed, starting roughly a decade ago. It's not enough to be a nice guy. You gotta make things happen. You can't simply set your mind toward your goal, you have to take steps. You can't simply be agreeable, you have to help with the heavy lifting.

What's wrong with my original thinking? I fell into a habit of feeling bad over failure and expecting that to let me off the hook. To my shock, I encountered greater numbers of people who really don't care how remorseful you are that you let them down: the fact remains ... and their pain is retained. I had an assumption that when turning your focus toward the objective, things would follow automatically, and that's not how it happens. (That's part of it, just not the whole story.)

Be Warmed and Be Filled

God warned us about the emptiness of nice words. In James, it's written, "If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that"?.(ch 2 vv 15, 16) Might as well say, "Don't worry. Be happy!". 

Things don't happen automatically. This is obvious to some readers, and maybe you say "well, duh!!". (There's benefit in how "we" think, so don't write us off. Your turn will come.) People with my personality type don't consistently recognize: steps must be taken. (And some things do happen with little to no effort, but that's for another day and a different journal entry.) 

Reality Bites

To all of this, add the fact of storms and catastrophes. Stuff happens. Wishers like me (and workers like you) get jolted when the rains come down and the floods come up. Even when you're actively taking those steps, it could be three forward and two backward ... or worse. But keep moving. 

Another gem from James: "Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works." (latter half of 2:18) So keep working, trust God, and by all means pray. But don't flounder behind a facade of friendly phrases. Do something! 

Make it So

There are no guarantees. Whether you're the doer or the dreamer, the result could be crap. And if you're like me, part of the pain is that you could get chewed out ... even if you had the right attitude. 

-- R; <><

Nice Neighbors

Nice Neighbors


Jason and Sarah moved a couple months ago already. I paid my respects to the new residents, honestly glad to meet them, though sad to see the original occupants go. It was their first house. All three of their kids were born there. (I'd say in short order since it's only been 5 or 6 years.)

And now, there's a "for sale" sign in Brian's yard. He may be gone already. Marilyn said I should go speak with him earlier in the day, but for some reason I put it off. Later went over, rang the doorbell, ... nuthin. I hate it when that happens.

Can't Go Back

I'm not terribly nice after moving away. I don't keep connected with neighbors all that well. But what level of contact is "normal"? How many prior residences can anyone keep up with?

When we left the rental, I did not look back. Marilyn and the kids visited that street at least once. I was never interested. There was one neighbor, next door to us there, who was always sincerely friendly and I think she kept in touch with Marilyn to some extent.

Occasionally Reconnect

Chris and I were CB radio buddies when I was in high school. A lot happened to Chris, mostly after I went off to college. Radio remained a strong interest and Chris eventually upgraded to become a licensed ham/amateur. He remembered that I was similarly licensed and wanted to let me know, compare notes, and generally get back in touch. What an honor that someone bothered to look me up!

They Mean A Lot


Scripture gives us balancing points: this world is not our home, and love one another. One passage reminds us that our residence is temporary (even if one never relocated). The other passage says to relate to those around us (even if we move a lot). I think about Lionel and Nancy who hopped from comfy California to tempestuous Tejas. I pray for them because I understand the shock of uprooting.

Dunno if we'll ever see Jason or Sarah again. It was kind of them to send cookies around the whole street at Christmas time. For our part, we brought a meal once. Felt good to help out. Jason was my go-to guy for yard care tips.

Brian was a blessing too. When I left the big company for a small one and needed independent health coverage, he clued me in on what to do. (He's been a consultant off and on for a long time.)

And that's the point. These people were in our lives for a time, now they've moved on, and we will eventually too.
God weaves a tapestry with our lives.

-- R; <><

MISSING: certain old friends

MISSING: certain old friends

I was checking up on Facebook. (Always a dangerous thing. My sister mentioned just this past week what a terrible time sink it can be.) Happened to notice the graduation of the son of a friend. This friend is someone I haven't seen in a while ... a long while. Time flies. Kids grow!

Trying not to sink too much time, I did happen to notice a few links. Links lead to links ... I came across an older friend, someone I haven't seen in a longer while.

Life takes you to various places and you can lose touch with friends. It's natural to miss your old friends, especially those who you were particularly close to. I miss these old friends. But with respect to the latter, it's more than just miss.

Somewhere in there we seem to have had a falling out. I think I did something to tick him off, but I'm not sure what. I suspect it may have had to do with a certain sideline business he was into (something I didn't really respect, but common and culturally accepted; he did nothing wrong).

Careful What You Say

I said something. It probably wasn't all that harsh, but it surely wasn't supportive (of my friend). Maybe that was it - it's the only thing that makes sense. (A sizable chunk of my circle at the time was involved in this business.) All I know for sure is that he and I lost touch. We lost touch in a way that my feeble attempts to reconnect were never reciprocated.

Part of my desire to reconnect is to apologize if that is needed. If I did offend this guy, I'd like to know. But as it stands, I'm in the dark.

Maybe I've misread the situation. Maybe someday I'll know.

-- R; <><

Our Father, Please Help

Our Father, Please Help

It's vital for Christians to spend time with God. In my circles, we call it "quiet time".

Any relationship needs one-to-one time. The Lord has promised that He would never leave us. But do we leave Him? Sometimes we do. (Even if not by way of some sin.)

For me, it's a struggle to make that time. Probably partly my natural disorganized psyche. Partly surely the crunch of circumstances.

I thank God for "the Lord's Prayer". Some days, that's all I can manage. On most days, that's how I start anyway: consciously repeating the words from Matthew 6 and Luke 11. And listen.

Not fond of ritual, I avoided repetition in my own life for many years. But now, for the sake of consistency, I do it, almost daily. I need it. If I can do more, cover a list of things to talk with Him about, spend a little time reading His Word, so much the better. But I gotta have something. I don't need a liturgy, I just need Him.

-- R; <><

Father's Faithfulness

Father's Faithfulness

In Luke chapter 16 and verse 10, Jesus said, "He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also in much.".  So ... be faithful in the small things, even things that seem humiliating.

When I was in college, my dad was in grad school.  He and Mom had many jobs to make ends meet.  I remember for one job, dad worked the graveyard shift.  I also remember that I was impressed with his assignment.  But later I learned that he dreaded it.  But he did it.

One night, I was home from school, I went out to the site to hang out with Dad for a while.   I remember very little of what we said, but I remember the time.  I especially remember how proud I was of him.

My parents grew up in church.  As is typical in our culture, they didn't "get it".  Then a friend introduced them to another friend who took the time to explain the Gospel, they were sinners, apart from God, and needed redemption.  When they understood, they believed!  They wanted my sister and me to understand too.  We did (I took longer), and we also believed!  They shared this revelation with friends and family, even employees.  My dad and his business partner (also a believer) got so active sharing Christ with colleagues and clients that Dad considered getting formally into ministry.  That's how he wound up in grad school: seminary.

After graduating, Dad held a number of ministerial jobs, including pastoring the church where my wife's family attended.  That's how we met.  My dad's faithfulness in small things led to bigger things and eventually blessed me in a really big way.

So there we were, visiting briefly at his late night / early morning job.  Later I learned how insignificant he felt in that place.  I was shocked, because I was so impressed, and I let him know.

Thanks, Dad, for sticking with it.
The time will come when your Heavenly Father will say "well done".

-- R; <><

Heartbeat of Heaven

Heartbeat of Heaven

I found the lyrics to Steven Curtis Chapman's "Heartbeat of Heaven" in several places, notably at his own web site.  Cool!  It's a great song ... lyrically, musically, ... theologically.

Loving, joyful, peaceful, patient
Kind and good and full of faith
Self-controlled and gentle
Oh the heart of heaven beats this way

The fruit of the Spirit; scripture in song.  I love this stuff.  Galatians 5:22,23 on CD ... and on the web.  Then to the following verse, many of us can relate directly.  For me, another brush happened this past Friday.

I pulled up to the stop sign and I saw him standing there
The cardboard sign he held said he was hungry
I looked the other way and waited for the light to change
As if to say, I'd help but I'm in such a hurry
These are the moments of truth
What would love have me do

There was a man I had seen before standing at an intersection near my office, the corner of the Wendy's lot, taking handouts as they were given.  Last time I saw him, weeks ago, I looped around with the intention of offering him a burger.  But he was gone.  This time, I just drove on back to the office.

Oh, heartbeat of heaven, I want you to be my own
Oh, heartbeat of heaven, I want my life to show
The kind of love that comes and goes
With the heartbeat of heaven

When I saw the beggar again, this song came to mind.  I'm a musically driven guy (and very emotive), and this piece hits home ... er, uh ... "resonates" with me.

I know at times this heart of mine beats only for itself
Full of thoughts and dreams, plans and problems
But this heart beating here in me belongs to someone else
He bought it with His life to show His love
This is my prayer, Lord, today
Let this heart beat away

The "thoughts and dreams / plans and problems" part has invaded my focus lately.  I have a good job and comfortable home, but what of my daily effort matters for eternity?  Too little.  It's hard to believe that God bought my salvation with His own life.  And why?  To show His love.  Wow.

Oh, heartbeat of heaven, I want you to be my own
Oh, heartbeat of heaven, I want my life to show
The kind of love that comes and goes
With the heartbeat of heaven

When we were visiting New York City years ago, I had lunch with my sister and my parents.  In front of the place was a man asking for a handout, so my sister went back into the restaurant and bought him some fries.  As I recall, he slapped them out of her hand.  (Guessing he didn't really want to eat as much as something else.  Who knows?)  This fosters my skepticism.  Thankfully, God continues to provide us food, and something way better, even after we reject Him.  It's pretty humbling.

Some people are in truly dire straits.  I KNOW that, so I'm not slamming the homeless.  I'm simply using this journal as a place to express embarrassment at my own bad attitude. 

Loving, joyful, peaceful, patient
Kind and good and full of faith
Self-controlled and gentle
Oh the heart of heaven beats this way

Mr. Chapman and his team were kind enough to put the complete lyrics on his web site.  There's a sample of the tune too.  It's good!  Probably could have made the point with only part of that text, but could not bring myself to cut any of it.

Oh, heartbeat of heaven, I want you to be my own
Oh, heartbeat of heaven, I want my life to show
Oh, heartbeat of heaven, I want you to be my own
Oh, heartbeat of heaven, I want my life, I want my life to show

http://www.stevencurtischapman.com/node/341


-- R; <><

Litmus Leadership

Got the following from a friend of a friend via FB ...

Why I am a Christian Democrat

It led me to this ...

Why I am Not Voting for Romney

Wow ... I had feared that we Christians had abandoned the donkey division (in favor of the elephant in the living room, to cast aspersions equally).  How refreshing to find genuine Believers staunchly in the blue camp.  Both sides of the US political turf desperately need salt and light.

From all I can tell, Graves and Mills are "real" Christians.  It appears that they recognize their need for a Savior, and Jesus is IT and they believe it.  That's the definition of "real Christian".  Since publishing their surprising essay, they have been taking a beating from the rest of us.

Republican != Christian

I will vote mostly Republican.  I categorically refuse to vote straight ticket.

Mrs. Dollar hears the claim that "real Christians vote Republican" and challenges it.  Good for her!  It boggles the mind how someone claiming to be a Christian can turn a blind eye to the social agenda driven via the Democrats.  But the Republicans have faults too.  Mills and Graves are no less Christian because they're voting for Obama.

Real Christians vote Republican
horse feces!

Real Christians believe in Jesus.
Real Christians presumably then follow Jesus, which means taking up your cross daily. And in this country, real Christians are obligated to vote because it is a civic responsibility.

Mitt Romney is not a Christian.  He's a Mormon; Mormonism is not Christianity; ergo ... Romney is not a Christian.  Mr. Romney publicly recognized that his faith is different from mine.

Red or Blue

The venerable indicator, litmus, turns red for the acidic test and turns blue under caustic conditions.  How fitting to this discussion ... red and blue.

As humans, we need indicators.  In democratic nations, we vote.  Which way should we cast that valuable token?  So we look for cues.  Some issues are clear.

As a Christian, I know that what really matters are the matters of the heart.  "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders." (Matt 15:19)  I want to support (and vote for) leaders who oppose evil, stand against murder, oppose fornication and adultery, and fight against theft and lies.

• Candidates who indicate blue might stand against theft of big companies from the little guy.
• Candidates who indicate red might stand against theft of big government from the tax payer.

In 2012, my indicators tell me we have a bigger problem with government overspending and taxing than with business overspending and overcharging.  Big business overspends!  Big companies overcharge!  Just not as much.  Just not today.  I see red.

• Candidates who indicate blue might oppose killing by their stated opposition to war.
• Candidates who indicate red might oppose killing of unborn children.

War is hell.  (quoth Sherman, a soldier)  I won't argue that our wars are allways "just".  That's a whole nutha discussion.  I do wish that back home we could agree to support life, the life of the innocent.  A child is not a soldier.  A child is not a criminal.  A child is not a choice.  If the unborn were unhuman, I would not hold this position.  But all indications are that they are human, they are individual, they are ... alive!  I see red, like blood spilled over the past 39 years.

• Candidates who indicate blue might protect us from government intrusion into lifestyle choices.
• Candidates who indicate red might protect us from government sanctioned immorality.

From the indicators, I'm seeing red.

It would perhaps be better if government and/or the health industry left marriage undefined.  But there are a ship load of other issues than medical coverage.  Marriage is more than cohabitation.  Relationships are more than what consenting adults carry on.  Family is for fostering young and old alike.  Kids don't simply need stability, they need models.  This in no way slams single parents.  Nor does it say that children of immoral parents are bad apples.  Nor does it demean the infertile.  We simply must try for the best: husband and wife, mother and father, family for life.
 

No Easy Choice

It is getting more and more difficult to read the cues.  The indicators are sometimes painted.  (You might get blue when you thought you picked red, or vice versa.)  Just today, I got a "he's a liar" comment about one of the candidates, without citation or substantiation.  When I asked for pointers, that guy responded that I could/should go find the details on my own.  Not a way to strengthen his argument.

I would have voted Republican this time for POTUS because of the other issues.  (I listed three.  There are more.  And I disagree with the GOP on many things.)  But Mormonism is a real problem.  I have been struggling.  Not the same struggle as Dollar, Graves, and Mills, but personal and painful.

Some Christians have articulated ... choosing a non-Christian is frequently a reasonable thing.  In my case, there are plenty of times and places where I would explicitly choose a non-Christian.  Even where the choice is between a Christian and the non-Christian, sometimes I would go with the latter.  (Family is good; nepotism not so much.)

If I had cancer, I would seek the best physician I could find, regardless his religion.  When I need the car fixed, I want it done right, no matter if the guy doing it knows the Lord yet.  (As it happens, my mechanic is a Christian.  And he does excellent work; he's not cheap.)  In my job, whether I'm looking for help or looking to hire, some of the candidates are atheists, homosexuals, even Mormons.  I consider these people friends.  (They do excellent work; they're not cheap.)

At this moment, there is one specific Mormon I would very much like to hire.  (Not meaning Mitt.  Different situation than the election.)

When choosing leadership, voting for president or representative or judge, the heart of the matter begins to matter all the more.  I have to give an account before God.  How will I justify my vote?

I will probably vote for Mitt Romney.  He aligns well on a number of indicators.  But I am having a very difficult time with the decision.  Ironically, some Mormons don't like him either.  Maybe they're Democrats.

Real Christians Vote How?

What issues should "real Christians" care about?
When I class Mills and Graves and Dollar as Brethren, what should I expect them to do and say in this treasured American process?
Which way should I cast my own vote?

In the booth, it's up/down for the candiate.  But arriving at that binary selection we have to digest a dozen other pro/con indicators.  The reduction is increasingly difficult, but come Tuesday we must have boiled it down.

Honor God:  The rejection of God by one of the two major parties pushes me hard toward the other.  God is not on the ballot, but the "why" behind the actions of the candidates is motivated by their attitude toward Him, and they are on the ballot.

Choose Life:  God created us in His image.  We value all of God's creation.  How much more should we then value the part which is "in His image"?  Both of the headliners support abortion, one more strongly.  Abortion is not on the ballot, but the office with veto power is.

Support Marriage:  Without slamming friends and family who make wrong choices, you should still defend right choices.  This is not hate.

Financial Accountability:  Budgets and money are not immediately spiritual concerns, and they don't carry the weight of Eternity.  (You can't take it with you.)  So this is fourth on my list.  But I am compelled to include it since it represents an impending storm.  And Christians can have opposing views about how to act responsibly, as we see from our Democrat Christian friends.

Shawn, David, Ellen, please get your party to return to a Godly position regarding life and living.

-- R; <><

Losing Face(book) over Time(line)

           

... or "to leave or not to leave". 

I got the following notice late Tuesday (August 9): 

Welcome to Your Timeline — Preview

Timeline is your collection of the photos, posts and experiences that help tell your story.
People won't start seeing your timeline until August 14. This gives you a chance to:
1. Review what's on your timeline now.
2. Add or hide whatever you want.
...

I immediately posted a knee jerk scream, which drew some follow-up from "friends".  One said get over it. (Gee, thanks for the support, bro.) Another spoke up that she likes the new format.  (Credit to her for that because I accuse the majority of silent acceptance.) A third thought he had angered me with his jab: why should a free service support two interfaces? But I was not angry (at him). I said that I should follow my plan and leave. Both he and a fourth asked me to stay.

Guessing it is obvious ... I really don't like Timeline.

So ... to stay or not to stay?
I have less than five days to decide.
If I do leave, I have less than five days to complete the other arrangements.
(Which have been in development for years anyway.)

And what is the problem?
I have always found the new format more difficult to follow (as others have switched).  While I like the idea of "telling my story", I feel even more exposed because I distrust Facebook's handling of "my story", and this is a further step in me organizing the data for them. But most significantly, I hate being told what to with my own stuff. I despise being forced into a framework I find unwieldy.There is at least a learning curve, which burns up time I don't have.

There is more to it.
The jab from that third friend (mentioned beforehand) was ... in the Facebook economy, users are not the customer, they are the product. Users are "sold" to advertisers. This is widely recognized by computer professionals. (Probably clearly seen also by economists, certainly by advertisers.) It is not understood by lay people (normal users, consumers, most of your family and friends). The majority are lambs ... silently sold to the sellers.

If that last sentence seems senseless, that is the point. The US economy, even the world economy, has turned into one massive TV broadcast, paid for by advertising. So it's all free, right? Not! Advertisers want you to buy something. They will fund the "free show" (television, radio, and now internet) in hopes that you will spend real money on other things. But many of us would happily pay for programming and services if we could get relief from the mind numbing drone of commercials. (And why is it that so many of the subscription channels on cable and satellite also run ads? Someone is double-dipping. Ewww...)

Granted, I don't pay for this service either. But it is backed by one that I do pay for.

That's more than I wanted to say about advertising, and probably less than I should say about Facebook. And now I have 45 minutes less time to figure out what I will do about Timeline.

-- R; <><